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Chuffy I love you more and more everyday! Just reminding you of that! I can't wait for you to get off of work so you can come lay with me! Don't just me pessimist... ..... Try and read between the lines. -Maynard James Keenan I'm so tired. Tired of the bad dates, thefree Coraopolis sex chat games, salutes needed cock in mt Gaithersburg Maryland mi the lies, and the seemingly never-ending stream the bullshit. All of it. Aren't you? The more I look around and see what's going on, the more frustrated I seem to get. People get so wrapped up in who they think they should be, they eventually become that entity.. at least in their own minds, anyhow. Just another clone, trying to fit in and be part of the crowd that they've all but forgotten who they are and what it is that made them unique in the first place. The lemming mentality has never made sense to me, and I've never understood exerting so much effort to be.. just like everybody else. What's that all about? I mean, really. Have we, as a society, become so afraid of being ourselves that we'll trade away our individuality if it means we belong? Fuck, that's scary. Laying it all out there, let's be real: I've been cut, bruised, scraped, and yeah, I've got my fair share of scars, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. They're a reminder that I've lived, that I've learned, that I've not given up. I don't live in the past, carry it all forward with me.. but, I'm cognizant of my mistakes. I'm not a big fan of repeating them for the sake of repeating them. To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing this. But, you're still reading it, so you must be as damaged as I am, right (this is a joke people)?! :) Who'd have thunk it that it's possible to make some sense in this jumble of words, this tangled web of ideas (or are those ideals?). I'm honestly starting to think that there's no place out there for somebody like me. Am I wrong?. I'm not sure why it's so hard to meet somebody and have an honest connection without feeling the need to impress them with all this fringe bullshit. Why isn't who I am enough? I may be disenchanted with this cycle of bullshit and pain everybody seems put themselves through time and time again with people we think are who we want.. but turn out to be the furthest point away from what it is we really need. Sue me for being and feeling lonely, even when I'm around other people. That's the sad and tragic truth of my state. The hardest thing in life for me was to acknowledge that I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person, and actually stick by that. I've had plenty of the wrong person in life, and now.. I just want it to be right if I'm going to put myself out there and through it all again. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, or what I was hoping to get at. I just sit here and read and observe all of this bullshit and I think it's so pretentious, so fucking generic. Like any of it matters. Maybe the best analogy for it all is that life is a spiraling staircase that we have to walk on to get to where we're going. The question really becomes which direction you're traveling in -- up or down. Which way are you going? I guess that sums up how I feel.. I'm not sure how much, if any of it, really makes sense outside of my own head.. but, if you get what I'm saying, maybe we should have a conversation and see what's what. If you got this far and you think I'm bonkers, 
